Raja Sen was most thrilled about catching Jerry Seinfeld in India this weekend, but the performance has, it appears, been scrapped. For the most preposterous reasons. Here, then, is a script of Jerry and the gang dealing with the news.

'Pratchett's work mocked the very idea of literary limitations, going from police procedural in one book to Christmas adventure in the next, from vampires to football, from the birth of motion pictures to the examining of religion itself.'